Blind Leading the Blind

Darkness its all I see
At times like this
Only shadows and unlimmed corners
Hardly aware of my senses

Leading people like a lemming
I hope not
For the fall from the cliff
Is like a fall from grace

My back bends as my heart beats
And I struggle to offer up a path
Some look to me for the answers
And with a confident voice I state

Assuredly follow my lead I'll show you
And begin on a trail
But as I look inward
With doubt and confidence not

My fears take reign and steer a false course
I seem to draw near the edge
Where is the light that can guide
The darkness is like an arctic day

Of doubt and dismay disturbing my strength
Is failure imminent?  Will it be permanent?
Will it be heaven sent?  Will I make the rent?
Is the blind leading the blind?

Aged

I still feel like a child at times
Wonder if my father felt this way when he was my age
Though I doubt it for he had much responsibility
A wife three kids a mortgage and a business

A real grown up situation nothing like mine
I seem very immature to my remaining siblings
They have followed in family steps
I may just be free in spirit I may be free from stress

My brother, like my father, raises a fine family
Even raised a son for me
My sister has a beautiful boy
Too bad he far outlived his mother

Even with a name like white
I feel like a sheep that's black
Lacking social expectations met
I'm a dreamer an addict addicted to life

So maybe forty is the fab new twenty
There is plenty of opportunity left
For the older I get
The older older gets

So shuck off the past and family condition
I'm sailing in my own direction
A beating drum on a savage breast
Calm me now with music and rest

Nails of a Lover

How do I love thee, she said?  Let me count with my fingers....

On one well manicured hand is maintained long luxurious nails
That scratch your skin leaving passion trails that for days linger

On the other hand my nails are trimmed
Come hither I beckon and answer your whims
Pleasuring a walnut sized spot
Seeing you writhe and twist moaning with passion sought

Answering your odd bit of kink
Loving when I take you to the brink
Of pleasure and seduction and raging release
The amazing things I can do on my knees

You bring out in me the sexual store
As kid in a candy shoppe I want more
I'll hand it to you in more ways than one
Using my hands has never been more fun

White Out

Fluffy white granular
In amounts that would make an addicts heart beat
Fast furious sniffing of nose
Drip drip drip

White powder swirling
Inhale through the nose
Back of your throat sneezed and siezed by a dust mote
Burn down to your lungs

But this white is different
But through my eyes just the same
The power it used to give me
Is now just frozen rain

White out blinding storm
Of cold and winter tale
Of angels and carrot nosed men
With eyes made out of coal

For this powder can be eaten
Or thrown or shoveled
Not down noses or into pipes
But onto the sidewalks and sideyards

Falling sticking melting
Icy crystalized delights
Fashioned out of natures foundry
The felicity of man

Chonga

Chonga lives life everyday
Technology plays no part
As the sun rises it follows that the sunsets
When clouds gather black and moist he gets wet

Without aid of compass or clock
He knows the way and the time to arrive
Miles to town don't seem strange
As he gazes in the wonders of his home plain

With his wives and close relations
Everyday is spent with life fascination
Without telephone light or satellite
Chonga lives his life

In each moment as it comes
Even when a marathon runs
Just to get to the next village
Chonga considers his life a privilege

Emerald Green Nails

A poem about self esteem a reminder, if you will, in the color of green....

I used to look at you and wonder what you see in me
Am I the best at this or that, am I the most dominant force in your life
Can I make it your job to fill me with joy?
And build up my bridges when my foundation is failing

I have this heavy back pack
Filled with a load of my past track
Of wanting your validation word
Needing your approval assured

Now I carry my own pack
It's not too heavy and I no longer ask
For assistance on building me up
Or making you responsible for the completeness of my life

I once thought you held my entire muse
No creativity until I met you
Then when you had to move on
I blamed my inability to further spawn

Words and melodies and harmonic twists
Of patterns and rhythms and vocal bursts
Of love and life and alliteration
Of dull feelings and lack of sensations

I gave to you everything no courage could I alone
Hold myself accountable for the emptiness of my home
Why would I willingly let go all power that I can hold
I only think that I had so little confidence in my soul

So today I am reminded that there are highs and there are lows
I am responsible for the status and condition of my woes
And now a gentle token given to my feet in prose
I paint emerald green polish on the nails of my toes!

Fish Pie

Fish pie suicide
Turn you over on your back side
Do it all over again


Roll you over grab a rubber
Push it all the way in


Make you scream its your dream
Pretty soon I will cream
Give me 15 minutes more I'll do it over again

Fish pie suicide
I've been stripped of arrogant pride
Flying high in the sky
I have no feelings that I hide