Emerald Green Nails

A poem about self esteem a reminder, if you will, in the color of green....

I used to look at you and wonder what you see in me
Am I the best at this or that, am I the most dominant force in your life
Can I make it your job to fill me with joy?
And build up my bridges when my foundation is failing

I have this heavy back pack
Filled with a load of my past track
Of wanting your validation word
Needing your approval assured

Now I carry my own pack
It's not too heavy and I no longer ask
For assistance on building me up
Or making you responsible for the completeness of my life

I once thought you held my entire muse
No creativity until I met you
Then when you had to move on
I blamed my inability to further spawn

Words and melodies and harmonic twists
Of patterns and rhythms and vocal bursts
Of love and life and alliteration
Of dull feelings and lack of sensations

I gave to you everything no courage could I alone
Hold myself accountable for the emptiness of my home
Why would I willingly let go all power that I can hold
I only think that I had so little confidence in my soul

So today I am reminded that there are highs and there are lows
I am responsible for the status and condition of my woes
And now a gentle token given to my feet in prose
I paint emerald green polish on the nails of my toes!